• In my first dream of the night, I was running around some building, a giant movie theatre complex I think, when I was suddenly surrounded by a dozen huge grey rhino-sized carnivorous angry lizards. I was knocked over and pinned, and I thought this was the end of me, but somehow I was saved.
  
  Later, I ran into japolo and we got on some suspended ski lift and we had just started talking when suddenly we noticed we were being surrounded by pterodactyls and other dinosaurs. I told japolo that I sure wished we had a gun, because I didn't know what the hell we were going to do now. He just smiled and produced a huge hand cannon from under a table and informed me there was a weapon for me in one of the overhead compartments. Mine appeared to be some sort of small crossbow or sling or something. I didn't really understand what it did. It was then that we noticed that some of them appeared to be driving dump trucks modified to be assault vehicles of some kind. Fortunately my weird crossbow-thing ended up chucking grenades, and I managed to blow up one dump truck. Another dump truck had big turbine engines on the top of it, so (remembering the end of Avatar) I decided to shoot for that. I don't know what exactly happened, but I know it failed.
  
  Somehow I found myself riding in a car with my brother Marc over the Pekin bridge, and we were talking and apparently this whole giant lizard thing was a worldwide problem. It was speculated that this was the start of the apocalypse, and given that everyone everywhere was subject to random dinosaur attack, I was in no mood to disagree. We drove past this roadside business that sold stand up, light-up Christmas cardboard cutouts, and I didn't think much of it until Marc said a friend of his worked there that he hadn't seen in a long time, and he'd like to visit. So, after it got dark, we turned around and pulled up to the place, and it looked a lot like this place on Rt. 29 near Pekin that sells coffins and tombstones, complete with said tombstones but with Christmas decorations spread around lit up all cheerfully. My brother was worried about the dinosaurs so he pulls a huge gun (where are all my friends and family getting these?), and he bolts out of the car. I remember thinking it really wasn't like my brother to be a total badass like this, which apparently my subconscious decided to illustrate by having him run into a tombstone and knock himself out completely cold. For no reason whatsoever, there was a family standing there having a picnic, and I scrambled to get his gun and hide it so they didn't think we were going to rob them. Then it occurred to me that I'd probably better tend to my unconscious gun-brother, and as I went over to him I woke up.


• In the second dream, I was in the Bahamas riding around in the city, which looked pretty much just like any time the Wiggles ride around in their big red car, but since it was the Bahamas there was (obviously) a huge ferris wheel visible in the distance at all times. Also much like the Wiggles, I too was in a too-small car with no roof, with a couple Bahamian dudes that I don't remember much about. I simply remember feeling like I should enjoy this while I can since it was so beautiful here. At some point I found myself wanting a lemon shake-up like you get at carnivals, and I found a snack stand inside this college building that apparently I was around all the time since I worked there (?), but only at night when it was closed so this was a nice treat. After that, things started to get fucked up.
  
  I found myself in my grandmother's old house, as I frequently do, and we were in the living room with a lot of our extended family. I had a couple of suitcases filled with old clothes and other objects whose significance I'm not sure of other than that I really wanted to burn all of it. And by that, I don't mean doing it outside. Right there. For some reason, I was having trouble burning it, and somebody suggested this modeling glue we had would be really flammable. So I squirted it all over everything, and it was thick as toothpaste. I lit a match and threw it on one of the suitcases and it erupted into flames. Huge, dark purple flames. And no smoke to speak of. It looked pretty awesome, to tell the truth. My brother, in another completely out-of-character appearance, ran up and put his hand in the fire because, as he put it, "I'd never touched a purple fire before". He didn't get burned badly or anything, he just went ow and shook his hand and laughed in a very "Jackass"-esque way. Then I decided to light up the other suitcase.
  
  The second one went up just like the first. And a few seconds after I did, an exact replica of my one-year-old son Sam started crawling out of the suitcase. Given that Sam was already standing there in the room, my head almost exploded, so I was pretty sure this was a monster or evil construct of some sort, so I hesitated before going over to get it out of the suitcase. Fortunately, it didn't seem to be hurt by the flames, but one of my grandmother's cousins (to this day I'm still not exactly sure what their relation is to me) pulled the kid-thing out of the suitcase. Sure enough, it looked just like Sam, but with one major difference - it was a girl. Abruptly all my fear went away and I got super stoked that now we had a girl and a boy, and we even named it and I was really happy.
  
  There were a couple other portions of the dream that I'm not quite sure how they fit in. One was about some other cousin spreading all sorts of nasty propaganda about me all over the place via these black flyers with silver embossed letters (offensive, but well-designed!). I didn't believe the cousin did it, so I was going to find out the truth. I never did get to find out. I'm not sure if this next part was related or not, but my grandmother was asking me if we could go shopping for two copies of this one particular really old D&D module, and she kept asking me if there were any game shops on Rt. 29 on the way to Peoria. I knew of two places that might carry it, but they weren't really on that road, so she didn't know if they would work. The way she was asking was creepy, like was like she needed them for some kind of black magic revenge or something. I've seen my grandmother angry plenty of times, but never "casting a dark hex on someone" mad. It was weird.


• There was a very short dream toward morning in which I had somehow become a high-ranked player on this popular Internet poker site only for massive drunkards. You'd play poker and then tweet about all the poor life decisions you made, and that was the whole site. And you played poker on the Family Feud results board they have at the end of the show somehow. I'm not exactly sure how. But I do remember getting a full house and making some quip that made me sound really drunk with incredibly low morals (I wish I could remember it), and then somebody got 4 queens and my reputation was restored and yet I was sad. I woke up kind of bewildered from that one

• I dreamt I was at some juvenile hall facility for troubled kids, but it was less of a jail and more of a gated community. Also, it was run by Sandra Bullock. Kids were running around and that was fine but one girl liked to go to her mom's house across the street and that was extremely against the rules. I went to go stop the girl as she crossed the street, but Sandra stopped me because it's only a probation violation if she catches her. If I did it, they couldn't throw the girl in jail.
  
  Before I could debate the moral ramifications of all this, a super cool truck that could transform into a robot pulled up and we were all amazed. Then a police car that was super tricked out with hovercraft fans and crazy engines pulled up, and it was somehow cooler. And then another car pulled up, and it had a huge robotic hand on the back of it, and it kept making gestures to please the crowd, such as Dave Coulier's "cut-it-out" featured prominently on Full House. Then disaster struck the giant robot truck, and it broke and had to turn back into a truck and ride off slowly and sadly. As it did, it got oil on me, and the driver said "nothing I could do, one of the hydraulic cylinders burst!". Then the hand-car stuck its thumb out and gestured for the robot-truck to get out of there. My inner 6-year-old was thoroughly pleased with this dream.

• I dreamt I was going to move into an apartment with dante8 in Bloomington. Apparently I was simultaneously married and not married, because I didn't remember anything about having a house and a wife and kid and all that, but even so Sarah was telling me how it was such an excellent location close to the highway. I was still not crazy about having to drive all that way, but at least I could hang out with my good buddy Josh all the time. But he started to get second thoughts about the whole thing, because he thought I was too messy.
  
  Also featured in this dream was me finding a 1993 Pekin Community High School yearbook, and discovering that dante8's nickname for himself in high school was "Captain Sensei". That was awesome.

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